Many of us in search of a relationship get all wrapped up into appearances such as: How many curves a woman has or how big a man’s muscles are, and how light or dark the skin is. We focus on the label of the clothing they’re wearing or what kind of car they drive or how big the house is they are living in. We also focus ourselves on and often make the first question out of our mouths….”What kind of work do you do and how much money do you make” We concern ourselves with what our friends and family might think of this person.  Now believe me, I understand that we all want someone a lil easy on the eyes if I may put it that way LOL! But, from experience I have learned not to make determinations only according to that which is seen with the eye but rather take the time to get to know and to learn a person from the inside out instead of from the outside in. Focus not so much on how good that person makes you look while hanging on your arm, but rather how good he/she is able to make you feel deep down heart and soul, how sensitive, caring and attentive that person is to you. All though it’s always wonderful to have a mate who can hold their own and yours too if need be, let’s not make that our main focus. Rather, let’s focus on the dreams, goals and ambitions of one another and what we can do to flourish and build an empire together. We must continue to invest time in one another by sharing, communicating, being submissive to one another and strive to adapt to and go through circumstances together. Never stop learning each other and remain willing to do whatever it takes to keep the relationship real and hot! In doing this you will gain a best friend, a great companion, a true and unconditional love all in one. And remember to always BE TRUE 2 U.

Is it fair to make your new man/woman suffer for what your ex put you through?

Even though you most likely answered no, you have probably done this a few times and may still be doing it without realizing it. Let’s face it, when you’ve been hurt and heart- broken it’s not easy to pick up the pieces and just move on so that by the time you get into the next relationship you’ve forgiven and forgotten. Sometimes we’ve forgiven but it’s very rare that we’ve forgotten! If your last relationship ended because your partner cheated on you time and time again or whatever your particular case may be, you enter into the next relationship with an assuming, expecting, and accusing attitude almost killing all chances for survival before spending time really getting know one another and making determinations according to what you know and feel of this person and not the bitter feelings of your past.  We can’t expect the new partner to be attached to our hip, or call us every hour to check in regarding their whereabouts.  We shouldn’t make them feel as if they have to defend or prove themselves every time they walk through the door.  THIS IS NOT FAIR!  As hard as it might be at times we must find a way to chalk the experiences of the past up to learning experiences and use it as a stepping stone of strength if I may say.  If we take the sometime for ourselves as I stated in my previous writing in between relationships, It should help us to enter into the next relationship with an open heart and mind and vibe off what we feel in the present not from  what we felt in the past.

Do your best to give of yourself, love freely, genuinely and think positive and if for whatever reason things don’t work out continue to love and be true 2 u!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!