I have question for my sisters out there…..Do you have a friend that makes you want to just slap the shit out of them sometimes?

I mean I love all of my girls and have been there through thick and thin and will continue to be there in anyway I can for each one of them…..but damn! I know I’m not alone when I say at times you just want to reach out and slap the shit out of one of them.  They ask you for your advice (which I say must be for venting purposes) because they end doing whatever they want to do anyway, which is usually completely the opposite of your advise. They cry on your shoulder, complaining about that man for the tenth time regarding the same damn thing and for the tenth time they say “that’s it, I’m not going through this anymore…..but what do they do?  I know somebody can answer that question with me THEY GO BACK, HE GIVES THEM A LITTLE LOVING AND SHE’S RIGHT BACK IN THE SAME SHIT, AND UNDER HIS SPELL AGAIN! LOL But we still keep on being that loving friend, gritting our teeth to hold back that slap. I guess they feel the same way about us sometimes as well, but not often with me, because I’d want to be slapped if I did this. LOL For me it’s like this, if I know that I’m going to do what I want to do then I don’t ask for advice, I just do the damn thing and if there is an issue I need advice on then I ask for it and most of the time I follow the advice given. However if it’s advice that I don’t agree with for whatever reason then I say so and we move on. As far as me giving advice, now it really depends on the situation. Something simple and in general sure I’m there but when it comes to relationships, I  tend to move according to the direction I see that particular friend leaning because I want them to take some time and listen to their heart, and truly evaluate the situation and simply make a decision as to if this is what they really want for themselves. The reason I do this is because only they can determine when they’ve had enough of a particular situation and NO MATTER what you say, if they have not had enough they are going to continue in the same direction.  I can only express my feelings and that’s it. I don’t even say “what I would do is” anymore because I’ve learned that even though we have a lot in common and we have been friends for many years and probably know more about one another than our families, WE ARE STILL TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSONS and we may or may not react to situations in the same manner.

Just a little something that was on my mind that I wanted to express!

Remember to always Betrue2u J

I’m back! Man was it tough being away so long, not being able to write or read. I’m finished with school for the moment, so I’m going to take all the advantage I can with posting and reading until it’s time to return to school J

I’ve come across so many interesting people at school and have had so many interesting conversations that it was tough deciding what to write about.  After a week of debating with myself, I decided to upon this……

“You Can Turn it Around”

In several conversations I found that both men and women let their past dictate their actions in the present. I learned that some women, who have been abused mentally, physically, verbally or even sexually in their earlier years, go on to believe that this is just how it is and how it’s supposed to be. More than you know feel that being abused is a form of love. Men who have witnessed their fathers cussing out or beating their mothers grow to believe that this how they should show their wives love.  This really saddened me. Our young ladies are leaning and depending on no good men and accepting their abuse because they feel that this is what they have to do to get help with bills that they can’t pay on their own and also due to fear of having to look for another man and start a new relationship.  PLEASE STOP AND TURN IT AROUND. You do not have to live your present life according to your past. Men love your girlfriends and wives as if they were queens. If you get upset or angry about something and I know we all get that way, walk away and find something that you know calms you until you are able to react in a more rational manner. Talk it out, don’t fight it out! Ladies, the same goes for you. Stop picking until you’re angry or until you anger him. Find a way to cool your heels and then talk it out. Don’t let being beat, cussed at and disrespected be the source of love in your relationship.  Don’t let his money and your needs keep you bound. Do what you have to do to get yourself on your feet so you can handle your own. To all my men and women out there who might be experiencing something similar………Turn It Around.

Always remember to be true 2 u J

I have not left you, I am coming to the close of a tough semester.  The nursing field is a passion for me and I am putting my all into it……..I will be back soon!!!

Forgive me everyone!  Nursing school is getting down to the nitty gritty and I have been overwhelmed.  I promise I’ll be back soon with more on our love, relationships, and life in general. 

Is it fair to make your new man/woman suffer for what your ex put you through?

Even though you most likely answered no, you have probably done this a few times and may still be doing it without realizing it. Let’s face it, when you’ve been hurt and heart- broken it’s not easy to pick up the pieces and just move on so that by the time you get into the next relationship you’ve forgiven and forgotten. Sometimes we’ve forgiven but it’s very rare that we’ve forgotten! If your last relationship ended because your partner cheated on you time and time again or whatever your particular case may be, you enter into the next relationship with an assuming, expecting, and accusing attitude almost killing all chances for survival before spending time really getting know one another and making determinations according to what you know and feel of this person and not the bitter feelings of your past.  We can’t expect the new partner to be attached to our hip, or call us every hour to check in regarding their whereabouts.  We shouldn’t make them feel as if they have to defend or prove themselves every time they walk through the door.  THIS IS NOT FAIR!  As hard as it might be at times we must find a way to chalk the experiences of the past up to learning experiences and use it as a stepping stone of strength if I may say.  If we take the sometime for ourselves as I stated in my previous writing in between relationships, It should help us to enter into the next relationship with an open heart and mind and vibe off what we feel in the present not from  what we felt in the past.

Do your best to give of yourself, love freely, genuinely and think positive and if for whatever reason things don’t work out continue to love and be true 2 u!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This is a message is to all my sistahs who find themselves in a pattern of falling into the same type of relationships time after time.

Often when we meet a man that we think we are interested in, we immediately and automatically begin to change ourselves into what we think they want us to be.  We conform to their ways, to their ideas of what the perfect woman should be like. We forget who we are, what we stand for, what we want for ourselves in the relationship. We lose ourselves as we become more and more enveloped in him. Believe me, I’ve been there myself a time or three. LOL! I’d lost so much of myself that I forgot how beautiful, strong, smart, and independent I am. I became his robot and convinced myself that I was happy in doing so. After ending my last relationship of 5 years, I decided to take a “just do me break” I had to take time to check myself. Ladies, this is a very good thing to do. You see I didn’t walk around moping, blaming, or being angry. I found a way to turn a negative into a positive by spending time learning, understanding and loving ME. I realized that I had to know and love myself before I could enter into another relationship, give love and be loved. I realized that if I stay true to, love and just be comfortable with who I am,  then all of those things would flow from the inside out and enable me to enter into a relationship the same way I wish to remain throughout…….Loving myself, loving him, loving us!

Note:  if we are in a negative state of mind… our internal magnet attracts the same type of man. When we are genuinely positive and we love and respect ourselves, we will attract the same. If you are good to yourself and you respect yourself anything less is just unacceptable.

**No disrespect to my fellas out there, I know sometimes the shoe is on the other foot in the relationship, I just wanted to shout this one out to my sistahs. Much love to ya!

Hey world I’m new at this and just getting started, so bear with me as I build this site.  I promise good things will flower!